You can check out of Time Warner any time you want, but you can never leave.
I terminated my account on June 11, but here I am on the phone the penultimate day of August, disputing an $85.90 charge. What am I being charged for nearly three months after discontinuing service? According to the bill, there is an $80 "adjustment charge," as well as nebulous fees and taxes. But what is being adjusted? Let's see how many guesses I can come up with while holding:
1) Time Warner's dignity
2) My faith in other people
3) My patience for corporate deception
4) The validity of contracts
5) The meaning of "say hello to simplicity" (Time Warner's motto)
After 39 minutes, I'm still waiting. Any other guesses?
UPDATE: None of the above. In Time Warner, the word "adjustment" refers to the logic-bending "price lock" covered previously. Secondary definition: "whatever the hell we want." Where is my Time Warner-English dictionary? Get on this, Google Translate!
Important question: has Time Warner surpassed Nautica as the single most incompetent corporation in the Customer Service Circle of Hell? There's probably a way to create a poll.
Time Warner's solution: wave an additional fee, not on the bill. I read to them the following transcript, Time Warner formed sentences that didn't make sense, and I hung up the phone and felt sadness.