Saturday, April 25, 2009

The Nautica Song

Thank you for shopping at www.nautica.com. We appreciate your business.

Please accept our sincere apologies for the difficulties you have experienced with your order. As a good will gesture, we would like to offer you free standard ground shipping on a future order. Please use the following code ****** by 10/08/09. Since the code is case sensitive, please remember, that you must enter it exactly as it appears in this e-mail.

To redeem your free shipping code, please visit our online store, select the items that you wish to purchase, and proceed to checkout. Enter your case-sensitive code on the checkout page in the field called "Gift Certificates & Promotion/Discount Codes" and click on the "APPLY" button. Your free standard ground shipping will then be reflected in the total at the same checkout screen.

Should you require assistance, please call our Customer Service Team, at 1-866-376-4184. For your convenience, we are available 24 hours a day.

Again we would like to apologize for any inconvenience you have experienced. We greatly value all of our customers, and look forward to our next opportunity to serve you.

Sincerely,
Customer Service
www.nautica.com

***

Dear Customer Service Team,

I have written a song. You may recognize its basic structure. It is not an especially original composition, but I sing it in Nautica every time you offer me free shipping, which is often. Indeed, we've had several conversations about this. You might consult my blog to read about them. Here's how the song goes:

When you're in Nautica
And life is making you lonely,
You can always go FREE SHIPPING
When you've got worries,
From talking to scary robots
Seems to help, I know, FREE SHIPPING

Just listen to the music of the traffic in Nautica
Linger on the sidewalk where the neon signs are pretty
How can you lose?

The lights are much brighter there
You can forget all your troubles, forget all your cares and go
FREE SHIPPING, things'll be great when you're
FREE SHIPPING, no finer place for sure,
FREE SHIPPING, everything's waiting for you
(FREE SHIPPING)

Don't hang around
And let your problems surround you
There are movie shows FREE SHIPPING
Maybe you know
Some little places to go to
Where they never close FREE SHIPPING

Just listen to the rhythm of a gentle scary robot
You'll be dancing with 'em too before the night is over
Happy again

The lights are much brighter there
You can forget all your troubles, forget all your cares and go
FREE SHIPPING, where all the lights are bright,
FREE SHIPPING, waiting for you tonight,
FREE SHIPPNG, you're gonna be alright now
(FREE SHIPPING FREE SHIPPING)

FREE SHIPPING
(FREE SHIPPING)

And you may find a scary robot to help and understand you
Someone who is just like you and needs a gentle hand to
Guide them along

So, maybe I'll see you there
We can forget all our troubles, forget all our cares and go
FREE SHIPPING, things'll be great when you're
FREE SHIPPING, don't wait a minute more,
FREE SHIPPING, everything's waiting for you

FREE SHIPPING (FREE SHIPPING) FREE SHIPPING (FREE SHIPPING)
FREE SHIPPING (FREE SHIPPING) FREE SHIPPING (FREE SHIPPING)
(repeat and fade out)

2 comments:

  1. So have you gotten your money back and now you just torment them? I think you should have written this song as a haiku.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Nautica writing
    Could it please be free shipping?
    Yes! Score! Free shipping

    ReplyDelete